Separation anxiety is a term that is used very commonly today.

​

In my experience, however, the problem is usually not simply that the dog is frightened of being left alone. It is much more often connected to the relationship the dog has developed with its owner and whether the dog has learned that separation is a normal part of life.

​

I have worked with many dogs described as having separation anxiety, and I have consistently found that when we change that relationship — particularly by introducing clear boundaries and teaching the dog to be comfortable without constant access to its owner — the dog's ability to cope independently improves.

​

​

FOLLOWING YOU ISN'T THE PROBLEM

​

Dogs that have a close relationship with their owners will often follow them around the house.

​

My own dogs do it.

​

I don't see that as a problem. In many cases, it's simply part of the dog's devotion to you and its desire to be where you are.

​

The problem begins when wanting to be with you becomes needing to be with you.

​

A dog should be able to enjoy being close to you while also being comfortable when you ask for some space. It should be able to settle without being physically attached to you and cope when you leave the house.

​

That balance is important.

​

​

TEACHING SEPARATION IS A KINDNESS

​

Sometimes owners feel guilty about creating space from their dog, particularly when the dog objects to it.

​

But teaching your dog to be comfortable without you is not unkind.

​

It's one of the kindest things you can teach them.

​

There will inevitably be times during your dog's life when you cannot be together.

​

You may have to go to work, attend an appointment or go on holiday. Your dog may need to stay with somebody else, go into boarding or spend time at the vet without you.

​

We can't promise our dogs that we will never leave them.

​

What we can do is prepare them for those times by teaching them that being separated from us is normal, safe and nothing to fear.

​

To me, that is part of being a responsible dog owner.

​

​

I START WHILE YOU'RE STILL AT HOME

​

I don't begin by concentrating on leaving the dog alone for longer and longer periods.

​

I begin with the relationship between the dog and owner while they are together.

​

Can you ask your dog to give you some space when you want it?

​

Can your dog settle when it can't have access to you?

​

Can you close a door between you without the dog becoming distressed?

​

Can you control access to things such as the couch, front door and food?

​

And importantly, can your dog understand that sometimes you will invite it into your space and sometimes you won't?

​

These everyday interactions teach a dog something very important:

​

We can have a close relationship without needing to be together every minute.

​

​

CLEAR BOUNDARIES CREATE INDEPENDENCE

​

This is where I find many owners struggle.

​

They understand what I'm asking them to do, but when their dog protests, cries or repeatedly tries to regain access to them, they find it difficult to maintain the boundary.

​

Consistency matters.

​

If a boundary disappears every time the dog objects to it, the dog never learns to become comfortable with that separation.

​

When owners are prepared to be calm, clear and consistent, I have seen remarkable changes in dogs that were previously described as having separation anxiety.

​

This is why I see what is commonly called separation anxiety primarily as a relationship and leadership issue.

​

Rather than concentrating only on what happens when the owner walks out the front door, I look at what is happening between the dog and owner during all the hours they are together.

​

The aim isn't to make your dog less attached to you.

​

It's to create a dog that loves being with you, but is also perfectly capable of being without you.

​

​

NEED HELP WITH YOUR DOG?

​

If your dog becomes distressed when you leave or has become so clingy that it cannot cope without constant access to you, I can show you how to begin changing that relationship.

​

My sessions take place in your own home, where I can see exactly how your dog interacts with you and show you practical changes you can begin using straight away.

​

Send me a message, give me a call or send an email.